Originally Published: May 28, 2018
Money, when you boil it down, is all just numbers. Important numbers, yes–sometimes really fun numbers–but numbers nonetheless. The thing about numbers: they never end.
If you were to meet me a few years ago, you’d see someone who was addicted to this constant flow. Money made me happy, but my search for happiness was never ending, and never fulfilling. It was like a drug, a constant drip that I needed at all times; I worked seven days a week to get my fix. (Of course, I wouldn’t waste any of my hard-earned green on the other kind of green, so I really don’t know what being on drugs is like, but you get my meaning.)
Money was my centre–it was my idol. Imagine a man crawling endless circles around a dollar he could never quite reach, and you’ve got an image of my life, a nightmare, but I was fast asleep.
I woke up when I was mugged at knifepoint.
Armed robbery, you’ll agree, isn’t normally seen as a blessing, so you may be a little confused at this point (unless you read my last post, in which case–shhh no spoilers). Though my life didn’t literally flash before my eyes, the experience did make me consider what I still had. My family, my friends, and most importantly my God (who I was just getting to know at that point) still remained, much more valuable than an iPod and the contents of my wallet. I saw my idol carried away in the hands of a stranger, but the sky didn’t come crashing down. Instead, God gave me peace. In those moments, and in the time that passed afterwards, He opened my eyes, whispering quietly, “money isn’t everything, my son. I am the way, the truth, and the life. I hold the answers.” That’s really when my journey with Him began: when he broke my chains.
All of a sudden, I was rearranging my schedule and giving shifts away left and right (my brother benefited a lot in extra hours at around that time) in order to make sure I was where God wanted me to be. I still hung on a bit too much in some areas–old habits die hard–but at the beginning of 2018 I quit my main job, which was a big stressor, and suddenly what was once a seven-day work week became a three day one.
If you know me, you’ll know that cutting down on hours at work didn’t mean I was just lounging around the house. Rather, giving away my shifts allowed me to focus on other projects that were more important to me, but didn’t quite have the monetary return. It meant I could put in more of my time and passion into Young Adults ministry at my church, my YouTube channel, “My Walk With Christ” (not quite ready yet, ya keeners!), and this blog, as well as my friends and family. Really, the time since has just been an exercise in trusting God’s provision.
Don’t get me wrong–money is important, and in the society, we have, you need it to survive. Financial planning is important, and responsibility is key. However, I temper this with the understanding that in good and in bad, in rich and in poor, in struggle and celebration, God provides.
I’ve seen His provision a lot in my life. After quitting my stressful weekday job, I still needed some work (just not quite as much as before), and within a day I went to Bridlewood Mall (a mall nearby my house) They we’re hiring lead coaches. I got an email for a practical interview then got the job. The job was to teach kids 18 months to 7 months to play soccer through games for a short time on Saturdays. Or, when I went on a mission trip to Serpent River last year (more on this in a later post I assure you), my fundraising came up short, but a couple tax return arrived just in the nick of time.
These may seem small examples to some, but they get at one of the most important things to understand about God’s provision: everything we have, big or small, comes from Him. Luke 21:1-4 says
“As Jesus looked up, he saw the rich putting their gifts into the temple treasury. He also saw a poor widow put in two very small copper coins. ‘Truly I tell you,’ he said, ‘this poor widow has put in more than all the others. All these people gave their gifts out of their wealth; but she out of her poverty put in all she had to live on.’”
I believe we should all have the mentality of the poor widow, focusing more on the one who gave us our possessions, rather than the possessions themselves.
Likewise, in Matthew 6:24, Jesus says that “No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money.” This doesn’t mean you can’t have money, or that it’s not useful, but that at the end of the day, you understand where it all came from, and make Him your priority.
If you’re like me and money has become more than just a tool–if it has become a distraction barring you from a relationship with Jesus–consider this your mugging. Let this be the sign to you that terrifying moment was for me. Who or what is your first love? Only Jesus can fulfill that role without disappointment. Money will always fail you–trust me; I learned this first-hand.
You need to ask yourself, “do I trust Jesus or my money more?” I know how I used to be, and I thank God that I’m not that person any more. I don’t chase money now. Instead, to borrow from Eugene Peterson’s paraphrase of Philippians 3:14, “I’ve got my eye on the goal, where God is beckoning us onward—to Jesus. I’m off and running, and I’m not turning back.”
Talk to you in the next one, and remember to always, stay grateful.
Confessions from Crickets 