I feel like I’ve been wearing this face mask since long before this pandemic. Not only covering my mouth and nose but my whole face.
I feel like I’ve been wearing this face mask for years now. Covering my true identity from my family. Covering the person who God called me to be. Scared of other reactions, thoughts, emotions and feelings.
I felt like I live a double life, putting on my mask as soon as I got home. Not letting anyone see how my true face was. Living outside like how I want to live like inside.
Even though the face mask might look invisible.
Even after sharing my faith, I thought things would be different now but they aren’t.
But we’re back to the same routine. Lies after lies to my parents. All because I’m scared, nervous, anxious, overwhelmed.
These feelings sometimes lead into a dark valley. Which only God can get me out of.
I know what I need to do but for some reason I can’t do those things.
The face mask is nothing compared to God transformation. Anyone can see the transformation God has made in life. It’s whether we choose to see those good in people.
Although, this face mask is beginning to come unraveled by God. God has been giving me his courage to face the fears.
Confessions from Crickets 